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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: Lou Cersosimo

Name: Lou Cersosimo
DOB: September 4, 1957
DOD: Still Alive
Profession: Engineer at water treatment plant
Claim to Fame: Mikey Filmmaker's Dad
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): late 70s

Why It's Awesome:
When I decided to do this 31 days of moustache feature I wanted to cover the best 'staches I knew of. There was obviously the famous ones, but I remembered that my Dad sported a 'stache back in the day. Luckily, I had some old photos that I scanned a while ago and I had a picture. As soon as I saw the picture, I knew I needed to have him end the inaugural moustache celebration.

This picture was taken I'm guessing in the late 70s or maybe early 80s. It was definitely before I was born in 1985. This picture is definitely a good laugh, but you got to give the man credit. He looks like a stud his 20s. I actually look more like my mother, but I'm glad that I got the Cersosimo 'stache gene passed onto me.

Maybe 30 years from now, my son will post his own 31 Days of Moustache and he'll end his celebration with me. That's one of my goals in life. Three generations of moustaches.

Regardless you can't deny something I like to call Pure Moustache Sexiness!

Father (late 70s)
Son (2009)
Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

It's hard not to like this 'stache. Really captures the era well. Between the long hair, glasses, and 'stache you really can't go wrong. Especially with my Mom sporting a 'fro. This was quite the couple back in the day.

Monday, March 30, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: John Holmes and Ron Jeremy

Editor's Note: This post contains videos and writing discussing pornography. Proceed with caution.


Name: John Holmes and Ron Jeremy
DOB: August 8, 1944 and March 12, 1953
DOD: March 13, 1988 and Still Alive
Profession: Actors
Claim to Fame: Huge Penises
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): late 70s, early 80s

Why It's Awesome:
Both these guys really deserve their own individual post. Due to having only 31 slots and the fact that I wanted to write about both, I made an executive decision to combine the porn legends into one post.

John Holmes was known simply as "The King". I have actually never seen a Holmes film, but legend has it that his penis size was around a foot long. It depends who you believe. Holmes himself said it was 14 inches, but most people agree it was around 11 1/2 inches.

Regardless of Holmes' size, it was so big that he had sex with thousands of women. He was the first great male porn star. He even created a popular character called Johnny Wadd. After about 2500 appearances in pornographic related material, Holmes died of complications of AIDS at 43.

His legacy is still stuff of legend. Paul Thomas Anderson based Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights off of Holmes. Many of the events in Dirk's life is similar to stuff that happened to Holmes from working gay films to the Wonderland murders.

Ron Jeremy basically worked off Holmes success and even became a bigger star than Holmes. While Holmes was the King, Jeremy was simply known as "The Hedgehog". He has appeared in over 1900 films and proudly could perform autofellatio in his prime. His penis size measures at 9.75 inches.

I actually met Ron Jeremy (see above picture) in early 2005 on a film set. He was actually a nice guy and a true character. You would never guess the guy is a porn legend, but he is. He has seen a resurgence in popularity recently due to appearances on Surreal Life on VH1 as well as small acting roles in legit Hollywood films.

Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

It is no coincidence that the two "biggest" porn stars ever had moustaches. Part of the reason the porn industry is a joke right now is that all the guys are clean shaven. Do you think John Holmes would have ever had sex with someone clean shaven? No! Same goes for Ron. The 'stache is all about sex and sex appeal. These two men proved that point.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: Mark Spitz


Name: Mark Spitz
DOB: February 10, 1950
DOD: Still Alive
Profession: Athlete
Claim to Fame: Won 7 Gold Medals at 1972 Munich Olympics
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): 1972

Why It's Awesome:
Forget about Michael Phelps. Mark Spitz was the real deal. He went an amazing 7/7 in Munich, which was the record before being surpassed by Phelps. Spitz also did it when it was not normal for swimmers to have any facial hair. Apparently, hair slows down swimmer's times. Well, he was so good that it didn't matter.

Spitz's post olympic career was quiet, but it's not like swimmers have a professional swimming league to join. It has been 35 years, but his performance in Munich is always considered one of the best ever.

Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

Spitz had one of those classic 70s 'staches. If I've learned anything this month, it's that in the 70s, the 'stache was cool. With Spitz, that statement is no different.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: Clark Gable


Name: Clark Gable
DOB: February 1, 1901
DOD: November 16, 1960
Profession: Actor
Claim to Fame: Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): 30s

Why It's Awesome:
Rumor has it that the original famous line from Gone with the Wind was, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn if you don't like my moustache." In order to trim down the running time the moustache portion of the line was cut during the final script revisions.

Gable was one of cinema's first great stars of the talkie era. He was actually nicknamed "The King of Hollywood". During his prime in the 30s, you really can't deny that nickname. He was the hottest male lead at the time. He won an Oscar in 1934 for It Happened One Night. He followed that with Mutiny on the Bounty, then there was this film called Gone with the Wind.

Gable lived to only be 59, but had an amazing career. AFI even named him seventh in their list for greatest male stars of all time.

Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

Gable's 'stache came and went throughout his career. Still, Though, for his most famous role he had it. And, considering with inflation it's the highest grossing film ever, he will forever be known with his signature 'stache.

Friday, March 27, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: Mario Mario


Name: Mario Mario
DOB: N/A
DOD: N/A
Profession: Plumber
Claim to Fame: Has Saved the Princess like a 100 times, Most recognizable video game character
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): 80s

Why It's Awesome:
Mario Mario is an icon in the video game world and hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. He has appeared in over 200 video games on multiple platforms. Did you know that his first appearance was actually in Donkey Kong? Then, he was simply known as Jumpman. He really saw his heyday in the 80s with the launch of the Super Mario series. For example, Super Mario 3 is actually still not that bad of a game today.

Let's try to forget about the horrible Mario Brothers film, which was one of the worst video game movies ever made. Even the tv show with Captain Lou was an embarrassment (see above videos). The thing you have to respect about this Italian plumber is that he has preserve through the tough times and is still going strong. He's a timeless character really. One that transcends the ages.

Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

Mario has a classic look. I can't picture it ever changing and I hope he has his 'stache forever. Without it, Mario may just be Mario instead of Super Mario, video game hero!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: Tom Selleck


Name: Tom Selleck
DOB: January 29, 1945
DOD: Still Alive
Profession: Actor
Claim to Fame: Star of Magnum, P.I.
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): 80s

Why It's Awesome:
Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds always seem to be hand in hand especially when it comes to the 'stache. It must have been fate that they were randomly drawn back to back. As soon as Reynolds starting to fall in the 80s, Selleck took over. The 80s were all about Tom.

Selleck back in the day was a sex symbol. His starring role on Magnum, P.I. as Thomas Magnum is one of the great tv characters. I've never seen the show, but it has its cult following.

Unlike Reynolds, Selleck actually still has his 'stache (Reynolds has a goatee now). That definitely deserves a lot of respect.

Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

Selleck had one of the best 'staches of the 80s. My problem is that I just like Burt Reynolds more, so I can't give them the same rating. Otherwise, Selleck exemplifies the sex appeal in the 'stache like a pro.

The Dark Knight Sock Monkeys


I have received my well deserved sock monkeys in the mail today. I won them in an Oscar contest from Web Goddess. They actually can't be purchased, so I think I may have one of the only sets of Batman and The Joker from The Dark Knight. I just took a picture to capture my excitement.

Taking Woodstock Trailer


I can't wait for this film. It's going to be great and is my most anticipated of the year. I've already read the script and seeing the trailer for the first time got me real excited.

2009 is shaping up to possibly be a personal favorite of mine. There's strong rumors that the Weinstein Company is planning is release Nowhere Boy at the end of the year. That film is about the early life of John Lennon and is directed by the woman who brought us Control, the Ian Curtis biopic.

Peace, love, and rock and roll, ladies and gentleman. I'm going to go smoke a joint.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: Burt Reynolds


Name: Burt Reynolds
DOB: February 11, 1936
DOD: Still Alive
Profession: Actor
Claim to Fame: Posed naked in April 1972 issue of Cosmopolitan
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): 70s

Why It's Awesome:
Burt Reynolds's career has been up and down. In the 70s, he was a ladies man. He also landed big film roles in films such as The Longest Yard and Smokey and the Bandit. He was all over tv and film. He even agreed to appear in an issue of Cosmopolitan nude.

Then, he fell on some hard times. He filed for bankruptcy in the 1996. Everything changed after he made his triumphant return in the greatest movie ever made a.k.a. Boogie Nights.

There was one constant through all the ups and downs. Yes, it was his moustache.

Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

Burt's 'stache was pure sex appeal in the 70s. How could any lady turn it down back in the day? His 'stache was arguably bigger than him.

2010 Oscar Telecast Date Set

Mark your calendar. Next year's biggest award show will go back to March. It will be pushed two weeks to March 7th.

Last year's show was on February 22nd.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: Bill Cutting/Daniel Plainview


Name: Bill "The Butcher" Cutting/Daniel Plainview
DOB: N/A
DOD: N/A
Profession: Butcher/Oil Man
Claim to Fame: Killed Priest Vallon/Created an oil empire
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): 1860s/1910s

Why It's Awesome:
Both men portrayed by Daniel Day-Lewis. Both men complete bad ass motherfuckers. Both men had moustaches.

In 2002, Bill The Butcher appeared in Gangs of New York. Bill was the leader of the Natives. He was a butcher (hence the name). He was a master of knives with the ability of killing both men and animals.

In 2007, Daniel Plainview scared the hell out of us all in There Will Be Blood. Plainview was an oil man. A ruthless oil man. One that lied, killed, and abandoned. Maybe, the most unlikeable man ever to grace the screen.

The moustache added character to both villains. It brought the evil back in the 'stache.

Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

Daniel Day-Lewis pulled off the 'stache with two complete different characters. Both 'staches are also different in style. It is just another reason to admire one of the greatest actors to ever live.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Winnie Cooper Gets Married

All I have to say is damnit. That was my dream girl. I'm just going to cry now...