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Monday, March 30, 2009

31 Days of Moustache: John Holmes and Ron Jeremy

Editor's Note: This post contains videos and writing discussing pornography. Proceed with caution.


Name: John Holmes and Ron Jeremy
DOB: August 8, 1944 and March 12, 1953
DOD: March 13, 1988 and Still Alive
Profession: Actors
Claim to Fame: Huge Penises
Prime YAM (Years Active with Moustache): late 70s, early 80s

Why It's Awesome:
Both these guys really deserve their own individual post. Due to having only 31 slots and the fact that I wanted to write about both, I made an executive decision to combine the porn legends into one post.

John Holmes was known simply as "The King". I have actually never seen a Holmes film, but legend has it that his penis size was around a foot long. It depends who you believe. Holmes himself said it was 14 inches, but most people agree it was around 11 1/2 inches.

Regardless of Holmes' size, it was so big that he had sex with thousands of women. He was the first great male porn star. He even created a popular character called Johnny Wadd. After about 2500 appearances in pornographic related material, Holmes died of complications of AIDS at 43.

His legacy is still stuff of legend. Paul Thomas Anderson based Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights off of Holmes. Many of the events in Dirk's life is similar to stuff that happened to Holmes from working gay films to the Wonderland murders.

Ron Jeremy basically worked off Holmes success and even became a bigger star than Holmes. While Holmes was the King, Jeremy was simply known as "The Hedgehog". He has appeared in over 1900 films and proudly could perform autofellatio in his prime. His penis size measures at 9.75 inches.

I actually met Ron Jeremy (see above picture) in early 2005 on a film set. He was actually a nice guy and a true character. You would never guess the guy is a porn legend, but he is. He has seen a resurgence in popularity recently due to appearances on Surreal Life on VH1 as well as small acting roles in legit Hollywood films.

Final 'Stache Rating (Out of Four Moustaches):

It is no coincidence that the two "biggest" porn stars ever had moustaches. Part of the reason the porn industry is a joke right now is that all the guys are clean shaven. Do you think John Holmes would have ever had sex with someone clean shaven? No! Same goes for Ron. The 'stache is all about sex and sex appeal. These two men proved that point.

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