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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Law of DVD Ethics

I was reading today at Kopelson about the re-issue of the Stanley Kubrick Collection and I'm pissed. They are releasing a new "A Clockwork Orange" two disc special edition. It's got some extra features and a bad ass dvd cover. They are also re-issuing everyone of Kubrick's films besdies "Dr. Strangelove" (not really sure why, but that has already been released as a special edition).

This brings me to my point of why I really hate dvds. Sometimes it feels like every week there is another special edition of the same movie being released. Some of it I can understand, but it just pisses me off. They should just go all out in the beginning and not touch the dvd for a long time. This gives someone the chance to enjoy their first purchase before wanting to shoot themselves for owning the lesser version.

Some movies I don't really care if I have the lesser version. Although, some movies it really pisses me off. Namely, three films in my collection ("Breakfast at Tiffany's", "Pretty in Pink", and now "A Clockwork Orange") I want to upgrade, but it hurts me to do so. Here's the thing about special features: after one viewing they are usually useless. It's like, "Oh, cool, that's how or why they did that. Cool, let's watch the movie."

DVDs also tend to never release special edition when they probably should (cough, "Boogie Nights", cough). Okay, that film I just coughed out actually already has a special edition, but it just celebrated its tenth anniversary. Why not re-issue it with even more features? Pointless maybe to the average human being, but not to me and within this blog that is really all who matters.

As you can see the problem with dvd releases are they follow no law or pattern. They simply release films whenever the fuck they feel like it and that's why it sucks. They need to start a system, which states certain laws that the release must abide by.

First, dvd special editions can only be released on anniversaries of the film or the filmmaker's death. Second, unless there is a significant quality difference than a dvd can only be released as a special edition once or at least every 25 years. Third, you must notify me when the fuck you're going to release dvd special editions at least a year before you do, so I don't buy the fucking inferior version and piss me off.

There you have it my friends. Follow these rules and you will live a long and prosperous life.

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