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Sunday, July 8, 2007

A Pirates Life is Not for Me

Went back down to Orange for the second straight day. Luckily, I won't be driving very much over the next two months. It's a long drive, regardless of what time you make the commute. Still, I wanted to come down since it was Sean's 23rd birthday. He came to my gathering and plus, he's a good friend.

This was actually a surprise pirate party since he thought we were going to Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, he was wrong and the rest is history. The party was small, but was definitely a little crazier the the night before. It really two completely different crowds to compare. It's like comparing a defenseman and forward's stats in hockey. Obviously, the forward will have more points (unless he's being compared to Bobby Orr, but let's not complicate this discussion with a foolish analogy.).

During the night, we watched the famous Pirate porno, which I have no idea why it cost $20 million dollars to make. I mean give me a break. I've seen that movie being listed at close to $100 dollars. If anyone actually buys that film, they are a fucking idiot and I will tell right to their face.

I drank a decent amount of alcohol, probably around the same amount as the previous night. I really hate crashing on couches. It's uncomfortable unless you spend the whole night making out. Sean got wasted and was barely alive at the end of the night. I think I left around 3:30 a.m. or something. It's safe to say he had a good birthday.

And of course, Ms. S had to make an appearance. I'm really over Ms. S and her cocktease tendencies. I still enjoy talking with her, but mostly as simple friends. Yet, at the party she gets drunk and starts sending me mixed signals throughout the night. Of course, Mr. A was basically cockblocking me the entire night and it is extremely difficult to even think about making a move when another guy won't leave you alone. I guess in retrospect, I'm glad since I probably would have deeply regretted it the next day.

You remember in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" when Steve Carell says, "I respect women so much that I stay away from them." I'm really trying to avoid that line, but lately I feel like my dick has been chopped off and the only reason I'm going to Mississippi is to retrieve it in the fucking river. As much as I like seeing ALL my friends with women, I ponder the question, "Do they ever think, 'What about Mike? Why don't we try to help him out and hook him up with someone.' Or are they simply too busy?"

It's okay though, I mean, I only try to be a great friend. I try to go above and beyond normal expectations. Why? Because that's who I am. What else do you want from me? Do you want to me hold your dick while your girlfriend brushes her teeth after just giving you head? I'm telling everyone in the whole world, it gets old, so to all my fellow readers don't fall into the trap. That's the thing with love, once you get it you tend to forget about the little guys. I mean why care about anyone else when you're girlfriend is lying naked in bed getting ready to fuck your brains out.

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