I have the answer to the age old question that every man and perhaps woman wants to know. Where is the best place to take a shit if you can't do it in the luxury of your home?
While I was in Dallas today on a couple hour layover, the answer is bluntly revealed to me. It all started when I needed to take a shit. I proceeded to go to the restroom and found an empty stall. So, I sit down on the sit and I was blown away. Before I know it, I can quietly hear the guy to my left typing away on his laptop (You can get wireless internet in the restrooms at airports. The signal is that strong!). The guy to my right starts to make a cell phone call and is talking business with someone (You can get cell phone reception in the restrooms at airports. The signal is that strong!).
I finish doing my business and I leave the stall. I casually observe that every stall is occupied and it's not quiet either. People are being productive on the shitter, folks. You see that is what gives airports the clear advantage. Productivity is key. Comfortability is also key.
I guess it's too bad that the airport is not more accessible. If it was, then I would suggest just going through the metal detectors for the sake of shitting. Fuck traveling. That's why bicycles were invented.